I Get It: 24/365

Day 24:

I get it. I'm not a good daughter nor am I a very good person. I lack manners, I can't save even if my life depended on it, I'm whiny, immature, and selfish. You wish I could be this, or you wish I could have done that. I'm never enough and I never will be. And the list goes on, I already know all that.

But is it too much to ask that just for once you don't bring it up when we see each other?
It's not like I intentionally try to sabotage you or make life harder on you. Cause really I don't even have the patience or time to do so.

Sometimes my friends find it hard to believe that I don't show how much I value family or just how things work for me and my family. It's not like I want my own family in the future to be the same way, but you have to understand that it's hard to change the one you're already a part of after so long. You may have a family that eats at the dinner table together every single night and calls to check up on another; or one that talks to each other and hangs out like best friends and willingly helps you out when you need it, but not every one is so fortunate. Yes effort counts, but if you don't get along, find it hard to trust each other, lack respect for one another, and can't understand/reason with each other on an emotional and or intellectual level, you can't possibly say that things would be the same if you just "try".

I am just so sick of getting lectured about things I already know, and I am disgusted by your lack of trust towards me. Go ahead, doubt me. Complain about me. Eventually I'll grow indifferent. After all, I just need some time before I can stop depending on you.

Yay Congratulations, I'm a bitch.

What else is new?