It's that time of the year again!
Thanksgiving is now over, and Christmas everything is popping up here and there. Music, food, shopping, and school... all of these things are beginning to change. To be honest, I'm pretty stressed out right now about changes. Not the annual changes, but the little (and not so little) problems that seem to creep up on my life. I have so many questions and concerns that I feel like I'm about to explode... But I won't.
And I'm trying to remember how sovereign and just our God is, because if I can't acknowledge this during the hard times, I probably don't really believe it at all.
Please pray for me if you're reading this, and if you don't that's okay too. Still appreciate the read.
I'll write again soon.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Puzzled
So I'm not quite sure what's going on with me. This isn't the first time this has happened, but I thought I had the issue figured out already. Basically, I used to occasionally experience these episodes of suddenly not being able to breathe, see, or hear very well. I would first have trouble breathing correctly, then see spots instead of what's in front of me, and then the vision becomes blurred altogether. Next, my body would almost lose control of itself, like I couldn't stand up correctly. Everything just feels warm, blurred, and as if I don't have my 5 senses anymore. I used to think the cause was a poor diet or dehydration because of my first two episodes back in 8th grade and 11th grade. But it happened again randomly a year or two later, and it happened again just yesterday. I had definitely eaten and drank fluids, so what's the real problem?
It was pretty scary because I walked into the cafe like I normally would on a school day, but I began to feel very hot and stuffy. Then I started feeling sick and had a little trouble breathing so I grabbed some free water (yeah free water~) and sat down before ordering. The discomfort wouldn't go away and I started to remove my scarf, and then jacket, and felt the urge to just strip off as much unnecessary clothing as possible. I felt a little better for a minute so I went over to order my food, figuring that I should just stay here and eat because I need something in my body right now. But then it was happening again, and this time I couldn't see, hear, breathe, or walk properly. I almost left my credit card with the cashier because I had that much trouble concentrating and standing up. I felt so bad for the cashier because I must have come off rude or like I was on drugs. With that being said, I guess I'm much stronger than I thought because I was able to fight against physically collapsing on the floor (as much as my body wanted to). This was probably one of the scarier episodes I had because it was more intense, and the other times I had a friend with me to ask for help. Thankfully, I called Erica to give me a ride home because I was scared that it might happen again on my way home alone.
Lauren used to speculate that I had anemia, which would make sense except for the fact that my doctor told me my blood count was fine. I dunno, but I would like to know what I have in case it happens again so that I can be better prepared. So basically I didn't get any studying done yesterday, and I have 3 finals tomorrow and 1 on Thursday. Whoo, wish me luck. If you have any clue as to what I may have please let me know. I'd appreciate the help.
Stay safe and warm~
It was pretty scary because I walked into the cafe like I normally would on a school day, but I began to feel very hot and stuffy. Then I started feeling sick and had a little trouble breathing so I grabbed some free water (yeah free water~) and sat down before ordering. The discomfort wouldn't go away and I started to remove my scarf, and then jacket, and felt the urge to just strip off as much unnecessary clothing as possible. I felt a little better for a minute so I went over to order my food, figuring that I should just stay here and eat because I need something in my body right now. But then it was happening again, and this time I couldn't see, hear, breathe, or walk properly. I almost left my credit card with the cashier because I had that much trouble concentrating and standing up. I felt so bad for the cashier because I must have come off rude or like I was on drugs. With that being said, I guess I'm much stronger than I thought because I was able to fight against physically collapsing on the floor (as much as my body wanted to). This was probably one of the scarier episodes I had because it was more intense, and the other times I had a friend with me to ask for help. Thankfully, I called Erica to give me a ride home because I was scared that it might happen again on my way home alone.
Lauren used to speculate that I had anemia, which would make sense except for the fact that my doctor told me my blood count was fine. I dunno, but I would like to know what I have in case it happens again so that I can be better prepared. So basically I didn't get any studying done yesterday, and I have 3 finals tomorrow and 1 on Thursday. Whoo, wish me luck. If you have any clue as to what I may have please let me know. I'd appreciate the help.
Stay safe and warm~
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Friday Mornin Pancake Makin
So I haven't been posting these days, but that's because of the craziness of Week 9 and laziness of Week 10. As we are slowly approaching Week 11, finals week, I am beginning to feel a bit... unsettled. Is that weird? I can't wait for this trimester to be over but something just feels off. Maybe it's the fact that I know I won't be able to celebrate the holidays with my family and friends over break, or that I'm choosing to put myself in this position for temporary financial stability. Let's just hope things will run smoothly at the seasonal job and that I will be able to walk away from this experience having learned something.
Oh, and Lisa came back from Iceland on Thursday night! That ninja, no one even knew when she was actually coming home. But she brought me back some chocolate and cute socks ^^. More importantly, I got my roomie back. I am lucky, I got to see Sandra last weekend and now I get to eat and talk happily with my good friend again.
But anyhoos, yesterday Coffee & Scripture was cancelled so the housemates decided last minute on Thursday night to do Pancakes & Scripture at the Jewett instead. Granted we started 2 hours later than usual, but it was well worth the wait. I should know by now that when these folks say Pancakes & Scripture, they really mean pancakes and whatever else they can whip up because they know how to cook & Scripture. Haha. So Zach and Erica ended up making crepes, apple butter, apple sauce, a berries bowl, toad in a hole(s) and Melissa cooked some bacon and made fresh citron juice. Did I mention how much I love living with culinary and FSM students?
Erica and Cat :}
Food (I love seeing a full table like this!)
More food
So after a good hour or so of hearty conversations and laughter, we finally dug into 1 John and did the usual read and discuss format. Zach and Laurabeth had to leave early for work, so that left me, Cat, Erica, Andrew, and Melissa. It was definitely a good "morning" well spent. I don't know about everyone else, but I left feeling like I got to know everyone else a little better. As stagnant as it seemed, this whole week began to pick up after Wednesday in the most unpredictable and pleasantly surprising way. I feel like I've made a new friend in the house, seen people in a different light than usual, and felt the sincere efforts of brothers and sisters trying to be more intentional with their relationships. It helps a lot when I know that there are people who are struggling with similar sins as me, or just sin in general. It gives you a greater perspective in that you begin to remember that you're not in this alone, and that everyone has their own personal trials or tribulations. Jasmine and Melissa are right, we really should be taking more advantage of our situation; not everyone can be so blessed and have the community that we have available. Scott said that we are a typical "Christian college fellowship" group because many people do what we do. But the fact is that not every household is the same. The Jewett is unique. And what good would it be to live in such a house if there is no fellowship? In that case, it would just be a regular house with people who call themselves Christians. I'm just glad that the Jewett actually has community; we're not perfect, but we love each other.
I hope.
hahaha :)
Oh, and Lisa came back from Iceland on Thursday night! That ninja, no one even knew when she was actually coming home. But she brought me back some chocolate and cute socks ^^. More importantly, I got my roomie back. I am lucky, I got to see Sandra last weekend and now I get to eat and talk happily with my good friend again.
But anyhoos, yesterday Coffee & Scripture was cancelled so the housemates decided last minute on Thursday night to do Pancakes & Scripture at the Jewett instead. Granted we started 2 hours later than usual, but it was well worth the wait. I should know by now that when these folks say Pancakes & Scripture, they really mean pancakes and whatever else they can whip up because they know how to cook & Scripture. Haha. So Zach and Erica ended up making crepes, apple butter, apple sauce, a berries bowl, toad in a hole(s) and Melissa cooked some bacon and made fresh citron juice. Did I mention how much I love living with culinary and FSM students?
Erica and Cat :}
Food (I love seeing a full table like this!)
More food
So after a good hour or so of hearty conversations and laughter, we finally dug into 1 John and did the usual read and discuss format. Zach and Laurabeth had to leave early for work, so that left me, Cat, Erica, Andrew, and Melissa. It was definitely a good "morning" well spent. I don't know about everyone else, but I left feeling like I got to know everyone else a little better. As stagnant as it seemed, this whole week began to pick up after Wednesday in the most unpredictable and pleasantly surprising way. I feel like I've made a new friend in the house, seen people in a different light than usual, and felt the sincere efforts of brothers and sisters trying to be more intentional with their relationships. It helps a lot when I know that there are people who are struggling with similar sins as me, or just sin in general. It gives you a greater perspective in that you begin to remember that you're not in this alone, and that everyone has their own personal trials or tribulations. Jasmine and Melissa are right, we really should be taking more advantage of our situation; not everyone can be so blessed and have the community that we have available. Scott said that we are a typical "Christian college fellowship" group because many people do what we do. But the fact is that not every household is the same. The Jewett is unique. And what good would it be to live in such a house if there is no fellowship? In that case, it would just be a regular house with people who call themselves Christians. I'm just glad that the Jewett actually has community; we're not perfect, but we love each other.
I hope.
hahaha :)
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